This blog is titled as an “update”, but I haven’t written about this pregnancy yet on my blog! For those who don’t follow me on my social media outlets (you should: Insta & Facebook), I am 28 weeks pregnant with our first baby GIRL! I still find it amazing that God found it good and right to bless us with this sweet girl. I don’t know, you guys, I just can’t wrap my mind around His favor and His goodness. For some reason, I thought I’d only have boys, and be a #BoyMom for life. I prayed from the very day that I found out I was pregnant that God would bless us with a little girl, and HE DID. It’s insane to know that God has actually answered your prayers in such a tangible way.
12 weeks pregnant here with Baby Girl Hoffs
So far, I’ve only had about a 4-week spurt with nausea and feeling ill, and that was from weeks 6-10. I’ve been really blessed in that, throughout all of my pregnancies, I’ve only had to deal with morning sickness for just about a month each time. I’m really, truly thankful!
This pregnancy has been so different from my last pregnancy with Seth. There are occasional days of worry, like before 20 weeks when when I didn’t feel her kicking as much (UPDATE: she’s a great kicker, just like her brothers! And likes to keep Mama awake at night, just like her brothers did :) ). At my 19 week anatomy ultrasound appointment, I found out that I have an anterior placenta (just fancy terminology for when the placenta is in front of baby, making it harder to feel movements and kicks early on). Sometimes something will happen that will trigger a memory from my past two pregnancies, and it will throw me for a loop. A couple months ago, when I was around 15-16 weeks along, I didn’t feel baby girl kicking as much as she normal. I did all the tricks that I could think of to make her kick, too. I texted my Midwife and asked her for additional tips, but the memories of the past kept coming back to torment me. What if she wasn’t kicking because she wasn’t alive anymore? What did I do to make her not kick me? How come all of these tricks aren’t working? She did eventually kick me, and I now know that she was being covered up by her own placenta at the time. But, once you’ve lost a baby, you take those moments of non-movement very seriously.
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As of right now, I feel like I’m at my healthiest - pregnancy wise - that I have ever been before. I’m much more aware and intentional about the food I put in my body, and I’m taking care of myself a lot more this time around, both physically and mentally. I’m being consistent in taking my prenatals, eating as much leafy greens as I can, and trying to not eat TOO much sugar (although I still do love ice cream … ).
With Aaron, our first son, I didn’t know anything when it came to pregnancy and wellness. I had a pretty easy pregnancy with him, from what I can remember. He was born in Heaven just a month before his due date. I found out that I was pregnant again 5 months later with our second son, Seth, while I was still deep in the throes of grief over Aaron. I had no brain power to even think about taking care of myself; it was just about survival for both Seth and I at that point. I had tried an exercise and healthy eating program in between the time Aaron was born and when I found out I was pregnant with Seth, because I knew I needed to do something for me. Something to help me get my mind off of my all-consuming grief. My accountability team for this program was great, as was the encouragement that came along with it. Grief got the best of me, and I ended up quitting that program halfway through. I physically and emotionally couldn’t handle it all.
Now that I’ve had a good span of time (3 years) between Seth’s birth and the arrival of our baby girl, I’ve been able to spend some intentional time researching and figuring out what works for my body. I can definitely tell progress is being made in the small steps that I take every day towards a better me, and towards a healthier family, too. I’ve done a ton of research on gut health and I try to implement probiotics and gut healthy foods where I can. I am smack-dab in the middle of a nearly 2-year long purge to get rid of the chemicals and toxins in our home, which is something I’ve become very aware of since having children. This is especially for fun me because I get to make and create things out of natural items like vinegar, baking soda, Castile Soap, and essential oils. I have also found that I love going through all of my belongings and purging stuff that I don’t need anymore (this definitely helps my mental state of being, as I’m not feeling overwhelmed by the clutter everywhere), and I am trying to become better at reading books that will help me out and encourage me. They’re small steps, but they’re steps in the right direction nonetheless.
One last thing that I’ve decided to do during this pregnancy, and for this baby and myself, is to be under the care of a Midwife, as opposed to an OB/GYN. There are a number of different reasons why I’ve decided to go this route this time, and if you’d like me to elaborate on that, let me know and I will make a separate blog post. One huge reason is that during Seth’s labor and delivery (which you can read here & here ), I so amazed myself by delivering him completely naturally (as in with no medicine or pain relief), that I just KNOW my body can do that again. I want as natural of a labor as possible this time around, with no hospital intervention (unless it’s an emergency, of course). I feel like one of the reasons why Seth was so alert and aware from the moment he was born was because I didn’t have any drugs in my system during labor or delivery. Having to get an epidural during labor isn't necessarily a bad thing, though, I've had one myself. I'm just praying that this time around I'm able to go au natural again. I really feel heard and understood while under my Midwife’s care, and that’s something I didn’t necessarily feel like I had with my OB. Now, don’t get me wrong, I really did like my OB, and would recommend her for anyone looking for an OB. She and I had a history together, but she was also a doctor who served many patients throughout the day, and I didn’t want to feel like I was just the net person in line to have an appointment, and then be out in 20 minutes. There are lots of new and different things that have come along with using my Midwife, such as the possibility of a home birth (which terrified me at first, but I’ve been mentally preparing myself for it, just in case), I get to eat real, delicious breakfast food for my Glucose Test tomorrow instead of having to be subjected to that nasty drink of dyed sugar water, and I get to have so many options available to me during my pregnancy and during this birthing experience. It feels like a breath of fresh air.
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I have been feeling much more peace with this pregnancy than I did with Seth’s; it really is a night and day difference. I’m so thankful that everything has progressed as smoothly as it has so far, and that our baby girl is growing and is healthy inside of my womb. I will still take any and all prayers over this pregnancy, especially as my due date (Nov. 13th) gets closer! I’m also planning on writing a few more pregnancy and baby type blogs before then, so stay tuned!