As I’m writing this post, I am currently 39 weeks pregnant with my third kiddo, and first baby girl. This pregnancy has totally flown by! I haven’t been as diligent as I had hoped in both writing and posting pregnant updates, but I have been able to journal a little bit about this pregnancy in my own personal journal. To be honest, the need to sleep and rest has overtaken my desire to take the time to reflect over my pregnancy and journal. And that's okay with me.
A lot of people have been asking me lately how I’ve been doing and how I'm feeling, and just recently been responding with, “I’m done.” Haha. I’m just done being pregnant. Having 3 babies in 5 years is NO JOKE on a woman's body, and especially one's hormones! I just want to know and see for myself that my baby girl is healthy, safe, and alive, and I definitely can't wait for allllll of the tiny baby snuggles.
I am feeling much more prepared with how to handle a newborn baby this time around, since I actually have an idea of what to do now that I’ve already nurtured and cared for Seth. Man, looking back on his newborn days ... I’m just so thankful that my mom was around and she actually knew what to do! I was so sleep deprived, my anxiety was sky-high, breastfeeding was such a chore that I didn't enjoy, and I didn’t have a clue about what to do about anything else! That’s pretty embarrassing for me to admit. I’m glad though, in a way, that I had to learn from trial and error, because this time around I know what to expect. Or at least have an idea of what may happen!
As my time for labor and delivery approaches, will you who is reading this please be praying for me? That's the #1 thing that I need right now is intercessors praying for me. I’m honestly terrified of the pain that labor brings, and I really don’t want to go into my labor with a mindset of fear. Anxiety is also trying to get the best of me by bringing up memories of my final days and birth with Aaron, and that’s the last thing that I need to be remembering right now. This is a different pregnancy and a different baby. My true desire is for this labor to be an intimate time with God. He created my body to do what it’s about to go through, and He knows every intimate detail about me. If I am able to not be afraid of every contraction and the pain that they bring, and can rely on God's strength and grace to help see me through the entire process, then I believe that I CAN and WILL have the type of peaceful labor and delivery I am desiring.
