Hi, I’m Stacy, and I’m adopted. I have always known I was adopted, and it’s never once phased me - it’s the only thing I know, and I’m quite proud of it. We’re a very loving and affectionate bunch, and we make a point to let each other and those around us know how much they are loved, too. We like to play card games that have been in the family for over 40 years while we sip hot tea and the record player in the background is cranked up loud. We like to hop in the car on our day off and just drive around, with no particular destination in mind, going wherever we feel like that day. We like to have our friends over to celebrate holidays and birthdays with us, or even just to cook dinner and shoot the breeze around the table. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
In fact, none of my immediate family is of true Martin blood; both my dad and brother have been adopted and my mom married into it! In my mind, there has never been a need to distinguish between “adoptive” parents and siblings. They’re just my family; plain and simple.
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I think I have the most amazing, unique family ever. My mom is Filipina and my dad is from Alabama. It is the best combination ever. I’ve been raised with both Southern United States and Filipino foods and customs. What a treat! We always have the best non-traditional holiday food, too. My family’s tradition is that we eat Filipino food for Christmas. Smelling the adobo simmering for hours leaves my mouth salivating and yearning for dinner time. Not to mention the homemade lumpia that takes an entire day beforehand to make, and the fresh vegetables and noodles in the ponsit! One delicious Christmas dinner with my family and I can almost guarantee that your Christmas ham will never look as appetizing again.
Growing up, I called some of my mom’s dearest friends “Auntie” out of respect, and, because they were so close to us, it was just as if they were my mom’s own sisters. This very thing I continue to do with Seth. My nearest and dearest girl friends are all referred to as “Auntie” because they are like the sisters I never had. I even have some close family friends from church that I refer to as “Auntie” and “Uncle” because of the love that I have for them. Even though we’re not related by blood, I feel like the amount of love that we have for each other would be the same even if we were.
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I find it humorous that with both my brother and I being adopted, we still have taken on traits from our parents. I am so much like my dad: more extroverted, always wanting to have fun, kind of messy (just another word for creative, am I right? ;) ), and my brother is just like my mom: he can be more introverted and reserved, tidy, and orderly. I guess that goes to show that certain traits and quirks aren’t necessarily hereditary!
As I have taken some time to think about the idea of a family and adoption for a couple weeks now, I’ve been drawn back to the stories and illustrations of adoption in the Bible. The verses I’ve been reading have become much more real and personal to me.
“Long ago, even before he made the world, God chose us to be his very own through what Christ would do for us;
he decided then to make us holy in his eyes, without a single fault—we who stand before him covered with his love.
His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by sending Jesus Christ to die for us.
And he did this because he wanted to!”
Ephesians 1:4,5 (TLB)
It’s such beautiful thing to me to think that God wanted to have a relationship with us - with ME - so badly that He sent His only Son to become a sacrifice in my place, so I could be adopted into His family and belong to Him forever.
As my brother so eloquently put it not so long ago, “I’ve been learning that family are people that you choose, or that choose you; it’s not necessarily through blood.” Isn’t that lovely? I completely agree with him. Just because we may not be related through blood doesn’t make you any less a part of my family.
I believe that God placed me in the family that He did because He knew that we all needed each other. We needed each other’s strengths to help others’ weaknesses; our different ways of viewing things to help others understand in a different way; and each of our different senses of humor to make everyone laugh. God has been looking out for me and orchestrating my life since I was just a little twinkle in my birth mother’s womb. He has intervened and come to my rescue in innumerable ways, and His love is always there supporting me and loving me through every season of my life that I walk through.
“For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written,
every one of them, the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”
Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV)