This blog that you’re about to read is something that I’ve been thinking about quite a bit lately.
I have seen many friends of mine, from the time I was an almost teenager, until now, walk away from the church and from following God. I’ve seen firsthand how some people have been dealt some pretty hard blows from life. Maybe you lost a loved one or a child and you can’t bear the thought of “putting on a face” for the crowds and pretending like you’re okay when in fact nothing is okay anymore. Or maybe you didn’t feel accepted, appreciated, or loved by people in your church that you’ve been attending, and it would just be easier to leave. Or maybe you attended church for your whole life and did have every intention of following God’s plans, but then got burned some by people, walked away, and decided you were going to do things your own way because things didn’t seem to be working out doing them God’s way.
It may not heal your heart to hear this right now, but I want to say that I’m sorry. I am SO sorry that life is not what you expected it to be. I’m sorry that every day may be a struggle, and that you may have a deep, longing void in your heart for something that you can’t quite put your finger on.
Can I tell you something? I stay up at night praying for you. I cry for you and pray for God to have mercy on you. Especially in times of confusion and chaos, the path ahead is hard to see. It takes every ounce of effort that you have just to wake up in the morning and do the monotonous, predictable routine that you’ve been stuck in because it requires zero brain power out of you.
Even through all of that- and I definitely have days like I just described- the need to put my trust in God is so crucial to my well-being. I’d rather use the very last amount of effort that I have to believe that He has good things ahead for me rather than feeling emotionally dead inside.
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Remember the parable of the Prodigal Son that Jesus tells in the Gospels? Even though it’s just a few verses long, it’s full of allegory and redemption. Even if you have heard this story more times than you can remember, please, stay with me on this.
Jesus starts out by telling us about a man who has two sons. The younger son basically demands that his father give him his own share of inheritance (before his father is even dead! Um, what?!), and thus goes out from his home and squanders every single last penny of it on none other than parties and prostitutes. As time continues to pass, a famine takes over the land and he begins to starve; even the local pig farmers wouldn’t give him some of their animal slop. Talk about rock bottom. He begins to remember how good things are at his father’s house, and how even the servants always have more than enough food. He decides to return home and work as a servant in his father’s home.
PAUSE.
This is where the tears always start to flow for me. This son has done something that most of us would be terrified of doing (I know I would be). He’s blown all of the money that his father generously gave him, and has nothing left to his name. The future is looking pretty dim for him. What if he wants to get married and start a family? What money will he use to build a house? Or provide for his family? These are just some real life situations that could have possibly been the case for him. Despite all of this, he returns home. I’m imagining the immense shame that he must be carrying on his journey home.
Let’s get back to the story:
In Luke 15:20 it goes on to say that, “while he was still a long distance away, his father saw him coming, and was filled with compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” Let’s define compassion so we’re on the same page with what it means. Oxford Dictionary defines it as: “Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” I don’t know about you, but by this definition, I could definitely use some work at being compassionate towards others, like Jesus is towards us. I’m sure that his father’s reaction towards him coming home was probably the complete opposite of what he was anticipating. If you had blown your family’s money and reputation, would you be expected to be welcomed home with open arms with no ulterior motives?
Probably not.
But he was.
That’s where God completely blows my mind. He is so unlike anyone here on Earth that we can relate to. Have you noticed that our Earthly fathers, or even father figures in our lives, have let us down, disappointed us, hurt us, made us cry, or have even done worse things than these?
God isn’t like that, though, and that’s something I have a very hard time wrapping my mind around. God is entirely good and completely holy; there is not even a speck of sin or deceit in Him. His heart breaks when we walk away from Him, and decide to do things our own way, much like the father in this story. He so desires for us to come home to Him. As you finish up this parable, it goes on to describe the feast that the father threw for his son that had returned home. What a beautiful picture! Oh, it just fills my heart with joy to think about it.
My hope is that when you read this, it will be taken as an encouragement to your heart. I didn’t write this to condemn you or point my finger at you and shame you. I just want to tell you you to how loved you are by an incredibly understanding, compassionate, forgiving God in heaven <3